When I Let My Mind Loose

In Gloomy Me, Randomness on August 14, 2007 at 12:07 pm

Here I am standing at a crossroad again.  But instead of having two choices, I have more.

Ah, and now comes the very familiar feeling of wanting to take them all.

This is the time where I want to be an octopus.  Wouldn’t it be nice to have more than one leg (or tentacles, whatever) just so I can walk those different paths at the same time?  Wouldn’t it be nice to have four sets of brains to be utilized at the same time?  Wouldn’t it be nice to have four personalities to fit every path at the same time?

This is what happens when one has four freaking wonderful choices but is only destined to take one at a time.

In the mind of ‘Miund’, one has to be able to get ’em all.  Sadly, reality keeps biting the mind of ‘Miund’ and tells her to get real.

I don’t like thinking too deep because I’d turn into a monster I’ve always known existed.  And the monster isn’t something pretty to look at.  I don’t like thinking too deep because the funny part of me will turn into an invisible vapor.  I don’t like thinking too deep because my writings will seem to picture me reciting the darkest corners of my brain (or is it my heart?).  And I don’t like thinking too deep because I’d be a no-fun person I know I am.

Why do I think in the first place?


Something pushed me to THINK and I’m beginning to NOT like this something too much.

I don’t want to turn into a gloom.

I want to be a free-spirited, free-speaking, crazy person I am.  Who is this gloom that makes my fingers dance on the keyboard?  I don’t know her.  I don’t know what she wants with my life.  I don’t know why she’s so dark.

Shut up, Miund.  I’m here to take your mind off the fun stuff and be serious just a little.  You’ve been having fun way too much lately, it’s time to get real.

NO!  I don’t want to get real.  I like things the way it is.

No you don’t you don’t like being comfortable.  You need new stuff to tick you off.  Just freaking admit it.

I… well I do.  But then…

Just let go.  Can you please just be honest and let go?

No I can’t.

You can’t or you won’t?

I won’t.


Because I have to end this discussion.  Thanks to you… er… me, now the whole world knows how sick I am.

*dedicated to my own mind, who wouldn’t stop having such conversation*

  1. Hmmm…. *icon mikir*…

    It probably wouldn’t be such a bad idea to have a “sit-down discussion” (or a couple of them) with all four personalities and listen to what each of them has to say. I do them sometimes and they didn’t always reach any conclusion ( – if – there would ever be any conclusion at all), but at least I had the feeling that I got to know myself a tiny bit better after each “discussion” 😀

  2. Eh baru baca lagi, kayaknya gue ketuker ama postingan yang bhs Indo about your 4 alter egos :p

    Four wonderful choices which can only be taken one at a time… But in the end you’d still end up with all four, or?

  3. Tiara: i think it’s better to end up with all four than ending up on all fours… HAHAHKHAKHAKK!! thanks for dropping by 😉 and yes… it’s somewhat connected to my Indonesian post at miund.com. been feeling rather contemplative these days.

    Herb: YEAH!

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