miund

Between Us Friends

In Girl Talk, Randomness on May 15, 2007 at 9:01 pm

Lately I’ve been faced with situations that often made me wonder:

‘Do I really (have to) know this person?’

I love every aspect of my job, including the staying-up late (if REALLY necessary, that is) and all the stress that comes with the package. I even like the ocassional pressure from time to time being the work-masochist I’ve always been. But yes, like any other jobs in this earth, I also have some stuff I’m not too crazy about. And among the things I don’t really like is…

Meeting new people who suddenly become too attached and dependant towards moi. Moreover, it gets really annoying if this person suddenly thinks that s/he is your best friend in the whole world and starts calling people you know by pet names you give exclusively to them, act like they know you better than anybody else, think they know everything about your love life… and worse, being ever so opinionated (both positively and negatively) on your fashion choice du jour –which in girl world is the best friend’s domain-. I always have the urge to tell the person off, but always don’t have the heart to do so.

Last night I was driving my best friend home and confided in her:

Me: “You’ve known me for over ten years now. Do you think it’s stupid of me to be bugged by a person whom I don’t really know and have no intention of knowing further just because I’m annoyed by the sudden ‘dependancy’ and ‘attachment’?”
Her: “Haha. Classic Miund.”
Me: “WHAT?”
Her: “Don’t take it the wrong way, but you do have the tendency of being picky when it comes to being friends. I, however, think it’s normal.”
Me: “Well I think in order to be friends with somebody, you really have to see if the person you’re about to befriend clicks with you, no? Is that considered as ‘picky’ nowadays?”
Her: “No. It’s just that some people aren’t as open-minded as we are. So people have different perceptions. So what.”
Me: “You know I always feel bad whenever I don’t feel like being friends with a person. It’s like being a snob or something”
Her: “Hey, you have the right to choose who your friends are. Why suddenly be so sensitive about this?”
Me: “I don’t know… I just don’t want to be perceived as…”
Her: “An ass?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Her: “You know, from where I am sitting, I see the Miund I knew ten years ago. You haven’t changed a bit”
Me: “There. What’s that all about? First it’s ‘classic Miund’ and now this?”
Her: “Again, don’t get me wrong. But I really think you are somewhat a solitary person. You don’t mind being alone. And if that pleases you, why worry about what others say?”
Me: “Guess so. So is it stupid to reject somebody who wants to be friends?”
Her: “Not if it’s done with class, dear.”

She’s right.

We stayed quiet for a bit and I started talking again.

Me: “It is rather funny you know, I feel that the older I get, the lesser friends I have”
Her: “Same here. You know I think it’s not because we’ve lost our friends. It’s because we have shifted in terms of priorities”
Me: “You mean… friends aren’t important anymore when we’re older?”
Her: “No. It’s just that we now automatically put people we know in certain folders in our head and we unconsciously prioritize them in our minds”
Me: “Man, how did yo get to be so smart all of the sudden? I’ve never think of it like that. But it’s true you know. I’ve got your name and Tiyas’ on the first friend folder. The rest are filed beneath both of you. And that isn’t wrong, is it?”
Her: “Of course not. I’ve got your name and Tiyas’ on my first friend folder and you know, it’s been like that all these times. You can’t stop people from being offended if their names aren’t in the same ‘best friend’ folder, but hey, I can’t be blamed either. It’s my system and there’s nothing people can do about it”

I dropped Wenni off, and drove home.

Sometimes I just don’t get how she gets so smart. Maybe out of the three of us: me, Wenni and Tiyas, she’s the only one who had reached the level where she can get away with being nice to strangers, making them comfortable around her and not get involved emotionally even if they think she’s their new best friend. Yeah maybe.

I envy Wenni and her advanced social skills. I might be seen as somebody who has a LOT of friends in real life, who doesn’t mind getting drunk with new crowds at clubs, who can be an adopted ‘funky’ (God, does that word still exist, seriously) older sister to confused teenagers everywhere. But really, I don’t have what my best friend have: that extra charm. Some say I’m charming, but when they meet Wenni, they’ll know the diff in a snap. And I envy her ability to let people off easily, without being seen as the bad guy.

Oh well. Enough ramblings. I have to socialize. Haha.

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  1. you are picky when it comes to being friends. i’m sure you’re picky when it comes to boyfriends as well. proven. girl, youe got taste!

  2. bebe: you’re the top of the crop, sweetie. and definitely my taste πŸ˜‰

  3. quoting from your blog: “…it gets really annoying if this person suddenly thinks that s/he is your best friend in the whole world and starts calling people you know by pet names you give exclusively to them, act like they know you better than anybody else, think they know everything about your love life… and worse, being ever so opinionated (both positively and negatively) on your fashion choice du jour..” – well, it’s difficult for strangers not to do any of the above, given that you normally post your life story in your blog! doen’t that invite comments, No? πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  4. anne: oh i mean in real life. afterall, people never see my daily wear in my blog. hahahahakhakhakhak πŸ˜€

  5. chemistry never expired, eh πŸ˜‰

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