Not For The Weak-Hearted

In Entertainment, Imagination Gone Amok, Reviews, Silly Posts on April 23, 2007 at 1:17 am

I just got back from a movie date with my honey. He was gorgeous as he’s always been, dinner was good as expected, the strolling around was intimate as usual…

… but the movie sucked ass.

Sunshine We watched ‘Sunshine‘. Despite the seemingly ‘cheerful’ title, this movie is anything but. What I expected to be a fantasy science fiction turned out to be a horrible series of death scenes. Oh, pardon me, I meant horrible series of unecessarily prolonged death scenes. I don’t even care if this post contains spoilers in the end. I’m just so surprised at what people say about this movie on IMDB. They actually liked it. How strange.

So there are seven astronouts in this huge spaceship. They’re sent to ‘jumpstart’ the sun, because it’s dying. To make a long story short, they almost made it to the sun (uh huh, without being burnt) when they suddenly spotted a previous spaceship mission sending danger signals. Now this previous craft had been lost for seven years and now these astronouts in the newer ship are intrigued whether they can still find living souls on it. So they made a detour and found that the ship is still intact and well, but the crew had been killed by forces unknown.



I expected an alien invasion explained, but turns out that the captain of the previous team had lost his marbles and so he aborted the whole mission by killing his crew and attempting to stop the next team from jumpstarting the sun, in other words: saving the earth.

Lost his marbles. Gone mad. Got crazy.

What a silly excuse to add suspense and to twist the story. I mean, come on. I could imagine the conversation happened in the writers’ meeting.

Writer 1: “So what happens after Kaneda turns into human barbecue?”
Writer 2: “Why don’t we kill Capa too?”
Writer 3: “We can’t dude, he’s the only one capable in launching the bomb. If we kill him this soon, we’ll be 1 hour under duration”
Writer 1: “Oh I know, let’s just keep him on board and think of another conflict”
Writer 2: “You mean we’re keeping Capa and the rest of the crew? Then what?”
Writer 3: “Don’t look at me. I’m stuck”
Writer 1: “Actually, we can send the remaining crew to the old ship. That’ll add the suspense…”
Writer 3: “Uh huh then what? Aliens? Isn’t it a bit too predictable?”
Writer 1: “No. Survivors dude.”
Writer 2: “Wait wait. These people has been stranded in space for 7 years, very close to the sun where it’s hotter than hell, and you’re telling me there are survivors?”
Writer 1: “Well maybe only ONE survivor.”
Writer 3: “Oh great! And the survivor will join them and he’ll tell the rest of the crew what happened with their failed mission! And then, the second ship’s mission will be completed and they can return back to earth and live happily ever after!”
Writer 1: “Dude, you watch too many Disney movies. I’m talkin’ about turning this sci-fi movie into a thriller!”
Writer 2: “So this one survivor will be our antagonist?”
Writer 1: “Yes. He’ll be killing everybody onboard spaceship #2. So the tense will be increased and the story will be solid, full of real drama!”
Writer 3: “Hang on. Are we writing a sci-fi, a thriller or a drama here?”
Writer 1: “A combination of both all, silly. Try to picture Star Trek, Schindler’s List and Independence Day combined.”
Writer 2: “Dude, I’m not sure about this. Seriously.”
Writer 3: “Neither am I, man. Really, this sounds really weird.”
Writer 1: “Gentlemen, everyone in the movie business are weird. Let’s just join the club”
Writer 2: “Okay back to the story. So why would the survivor want to kill everybody?”
Writer 3: “Maybe he’s forced by aliens?”
Writer 1: “Mmm… aliens are too predictable. Let’s give him… mental illness. That way nobody can question anything”
Writer 2: “But if he’s mentally ill, how did he pass the test to be an astronaut?”
Writer 1: “Let’s go crazier, then. Let’s make him the captain”
Writer 3: “Whoa, dude. Seriously. I think it’s a bad idea. The plot would NOT make any sense!”
Writer 1: “We’re in the movie business! Who needs sense? Nobody ever questioned why Dorothy came from Kansas and what’s her real relationship with TinMan!”
Writer 2: “You got a point there, man.”
Writer 1: “I know. Okay, so we’re done discussing now. Oh, and one more thing… if we are still under duration, make the death scenes long and add painful soundbytes from the actors. That will add a new genre in this movie. Horror.”
Writer 3: “Dude, I don’t know…”
Writer 1: “You’re fired.”
Writer 2: “Hold it. Before you fire anybody else, I want you to really realize that this movie is not even going to win an Oscar”
Writer 1: “I’m fine with that. Are you not?”
Writer 2: “Well I’m…”
Writer 1: “Okay, you’re fired too.”

Maybe I went a bit too far there. Whatever. I have my own reasons, which are not as silly as ‘gone mad‘. I’m so not made for violent movies. To me, movies are to entertain… and not enlighten in such eerie ways. I’m weak-hearted, so this isn’t the right movie for me. On the bright side, this movie is perfect for those who are on their first dates. Guys, expect your girls to hold on tight to your arms. Seriously.

Before I go to bed: A very pregnant lady was sitting next to me throughout the whole movie.

I wonder if she’s gonna have premature labour after seeing Sunshine.

Good night, people 😉

  1. the movie sucked and kinda got out of plot it wasn’t THAT bad, people. she was being all cranky because she couldn’t watch nagabonar jadi 2 🙂

  2. hey i am not saying it’s bad… i’m saying it doesn’t make any sense and was too violent. this has nothing to do with nagabonar at all.

    however, i do like the way you kiss my forehead everytime i hide my face in your chest. wouldn’t happen if we watch some batak comedy, now would it?

  3. so should we watch some more of sunshine type of movies?? 😉

  4. no, sweetie. no. period.

  5. hm… I don’t think I will invade any places anytime soon…


    it’s really funny what u wrote about the writers… I thought about what’s going on in writers’ mind often too…

    mbak, u SHOULD watch Nagabonar deh…
    I went with my mom, dad, and sis and we’re batak… we were really satisfied with the movie…

    oh yeah, I read in ur Bahasa blog, someone recommend u to go and see Kala…
    u should do that too… a whole new different type of Indonesian movie…pretty cool story (and setting) with a pretty bad animation… but still, it’s a pretty good Indonesian movie…

  6. you know, i think the writers got a bit carried away at about halfway of the movie. i mean the movie could’ve been perfect if they hadn’t had too much gin & tonic that night after dinner.

  7. Neng Miund,

    I had an interesting discussion with my boyfriend after watched it. The writers happen to forgot about contigency plans 😉

    If you need to take a long journey to the sun, you should have so many back up plans rite? How come you only have 1 oxigen garden for long journey? You should have more than 1 in case something happened rite? :))

    The survivor from Icarus 1 is the worst part, it made the plot become weird :))

  8. yeah they should make like 10 of those icarus, if one or two down then they would still have 8 more. i mean..dude… it’s the freakin sun, bad things will happen for sure hahaha

  9. alien: yeah I’ve got some smses sent from unknown senders, promoting Kala. the sms read… ‘please watch Kala to prevent it being taken off theathres. it’s claimed to be the best film by medias, however it’s also claimed to be -not-so-commercial-. if you’re a true movie lover, you’ll watch this movie’. i think it’s such a sad way to desperately promote a flick, no matter how good it is, no?

    ecky: eleuh neneng tos boga kabogoh ayeuna teh… hahakahkahk… well it’s still a silly movie from where i was sitting. but congrats on the new relationship 😉

    bebe: bad movies will happen too, sweetie. 😀

  10. NONE of you understand this movie. Its a masterpiece and is WAY ahead of its time. Its way to much for you to comprehend.

  11. randy: ah are you writer #1? HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAKK!

  12. haven’t seen a movie like it in ages. i’m not sure who posted this review but you do the film no justice at all, randy is right; this film is a masterpiece. great shots, soundtrack, action, suspense summed up together to make a great hour and a half film watching experience.

  13. bdalle1: i posted this review and i guess it all comes back to the essence of writing reviews: write what we really think of it. and i think it’s not a good movie. you’re entitled to your own opinions anyway. oh and, try to have a sense of humor dude.

  14. you said it just right; if it’s way ahead of it’s time then there’s no place for it in the present time.

  15. Ya I have to say, the movie did have a lame plot, and hell as some one said earlier ‘its by the sun bad things are bound to happen.’and the writters really just wanted to put something in a script and call it a movie. I thought it was intresting but not enought to purchase the movie. As I said, intresting if your bored to tears but not something I would recomend. Some senceless end of the world stuff.

  16. […] The Science Of Bad Movies 22Sep08 Remember this review? […]

  17. i love sunshine. one of my favorite recent sci-fi films. i love the sad and gloomy mood.

  18. I watched this movie once on StarMovies (not finished though) and I have to agree with Miund. I just couldn’t get the message (and the moral) of the story. It didn’t make me cry, laugh, scared, or anything.

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