Hating The Holidays

In Gloomy Me on December 20, 2006 at 9:23 pm

Disclaimer:  This is meant to be a negative post.

Definition of ‘holidays’ when I was younger:

1.  Christmas tree
2.  Presents
3.  Chocolate Pudding
4.  Great TV shows
5.  Sleeping until noon

Definition of “holidays” now:

1.  Domestic problems
2.  Too much self-retrospect
3.  Insomnia
4.  Stress
5.  Rationalizing irrational fears

“Happy” Holidays no longer exist.  I have to find a ladder to bring myself up from this shit hole.  I must be THAT stupid for keep falling into the same pit every goddamn year.  You know, the worst thing to find out when you think you are happy is the fact that you aren’t as happy has you thought you are.  The suckiest thing to realize when you think you have it all is the fact that you’re still far away from having any at all.

There I go again.  My mind and the evil thoughts it unleashes when it’s kept way too long under the covers, in the bed room, at home.  So ironic how the coziest and the most peaceful place on earth could also be one’s darkest dungeon.

He told me not to worry about stuff.  Maybe I don’t worry.  I just have one lingering question that is still unanswered:

“When can things go back to normal?”

And I don’t think that is asking too much.

  1. “When can things go back to normal?”

    The answer will be depending on what ‘normal’ means, which very exclusive from one person to another. What I consider normal might not be a normal thing for other people, and in that kind of situation, I usually go with my value, my own value of normal, since I am the one who lives my life and not other people.
    However, it will be different when the normal and not-normal thing starts to involve someone else’s life too, which, then, a compromise should be made as one of the effort.
    Hope that will help.

    Don’t worry too much, girl .. The world keeps evolving so you might want to just go with the ride ..


  2. Thanks Silv…

    I think it’s just my year-end blues. Every year it’s the same. The feeling of incompetency in the career, failing to be totally responsible for parents’ happiness, wondering of how next year would be like…

    Now I know why people choose to get drunk every New Year’s Eve. I think it’s to wash away the worries and somehow start anew.

    *hugs hugs*

  3. miund dear.
    year end blues are totally normal. what you need not normal but simply a distraction. it can be booze. parties. what-have-you’s.. everyone have that feeling.

    but in the end of the day…
    its that will to drag your cute tushy to climb that ladder to get out of that shithole what’s really matter. so keep finding your ladder..with the help of sneaky and you-bebe. yea?

    maybe santa will drop by and give you a lift. right? ^^

    hoping for a new year and new start to all of us.


  4. what should only count as happiness during the holiday season is YOUR happiness.

    not your parents’, not your other relatives’, not even the happiness of the most beloved bf & other friends.

    sometimes we get too caught up in the efforts to find the best XMas presents for everyone else, to find the best resto/place to have XMas dinner w/ family, to make sure that noone gets late for midnight mass … that we forget to take care of ourselves.

    so for this coming XMas: remember that it’s supposed to be a celebration of the birth of baby Jesus, nothing else. and for the NewYear: maybe it’s time to scrape any upcoming “resolutions”. heck, we’re gorgeous the way we are, it’s everyone else who need new year resolutions, tee hee.

    be thankful that at least you don’t have to drive to work in the snow. altho prolly Jakarta traffic is as bad, huh? that stupid lane dedicated for motorcyclists – has it worked?

    PEACE and LOVE in this JOYOUS season from Boston – xoxoxoxoxo.

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